Juliette
We first met in 2001. We started the same shift at the railway pub in Blackheath. You were supporting your studies, and I was taking up a second job to supplement my income from my work at Wonderbra (which you thought was so cool at the time. - we even found 'the ladies bras' song .... no one else seems to get its beauty).
I remember walking into the pub and there was this tall, confident, witty stunning woman all leggy with a shimmery black and glod dusted top, holding everyone’s attention. I was immediately apprehensive of this sparkling charismatic queen and so scuttled in to begin my shift as the awkward quiet one by comparison. But Ellie, you weren’t having that. Your inquisitive warm nature, and ability to chat non stop meant that by the end of the shift, you had me, the staff, and the punters fully weighed up. And you had the drinks lined up (and paid for by punters) for our welcome celebration lock-in. My apprehension (aka insane jealousy) for you quickly turned to fondness and awe as you turned each shift into a fun adventure; you leading at the hilarious helm, as i took pride of place as your wing-woman giggling whilst you put lairy punters in their place and maintained this air of vibrant immaculate energy into that sleep old station pub.
I finished my last shift there in order to prepare to go travelling; you insisted on coming to help me pack. You’d never been over to mine before, and I admired your confidence and persistence. I tried to make excuses to brush you off. Again Ellie, you weren’t having it. Every excuse was met with an answer from your sharp brain and natural sales ability. So the next day, bang on time, you turned up, intimidatingly tall and stunning, to go through every item in my wardrobe and create the perfect backpackers capsule wardrobe!
Before I ventured off, you also insisted that I email you each week and call the Railway regularly from wherever I should find myself on my travels.
From India, to Thailand, Sydney and Perth I checked in with you. Emails and phone calls, updating you on the places, people and food I had discovered. You adored the stories and could almost hear you throw your head back as you yelled the most hilarious tales out to our co-workers at the pub.Then one day, when I called to let you know I was planning to stop off in LA before heading home, you fell silent for a few seconds (very rare) and then announced “I think I need to join you. That’s my place. LA LA land. you need me there".
And so you did.
And so, having stayed at a sleepy hostel for a week, visiting the local gym and ticking over feeling a little underwhelmed by LA, in walked Ellie. You literally lit up the hostel with your vibrant energy and ability to make people talk. I will never forget the morning that you stood up in our dorm a little too quickly, and because you were so fucking tall, you banged your head on the slanted ceiling. You immediately started to laugh while tears of actual pain streamed from your face. I’ve never seen anything so silly since (apart from the time that Laurel ran into a window she didn’t know was there and we fell about laughing while mum scowled at us)!
There was another night when you told me - no warned me - that because of your liver conditions, that sometimes when you wake up , you could look like a frog.. I giggled and asked how on earth that was possible, especially when someone. looks as exquisite as you...., and then we woke. and indeed, Ellie, my exquisite fiend, you looked like a frog. And you howled "I TOLD YOU SO!" because you never. Ever. Lied.
LALA land with you Ellie became a different place. We hired a trashy convertible car and went on adventures. With you there we chatted to people, got invited to a party in a Beverly Hills mansion (for ever reminded by Sean Paul Sexy Lady), we met and watched a real band rehearse for their gig in a garage, we met Jay Leno and you danced on his show. You flashed Kobe Bryant. You FLASHED Kobe Bryant in a traffic jam in the back of that shitty convertible and he laughed. And I was aghast but proud!
We drove up to San Francisco, late at night with no mobile phones, and we were bricking it because we left too late and almost ran out of fuel.
We cooed at seals, shivered in Alcatraz and celebrated staying in a real hotel for a few nights with dressing gowns that we could pinch. Dad arrived to meet us and you asked him to be you surrogate dad. we swapped business class seats with him on the flight home and he has always loved you as a surrogate daughter since.
We have shared many adventures, jobs, lived together, argued together, struggled, laughed lived and loved. There are too many moments for me to describe without writing a book. I miss you madly now and will do always. But if we can continue to live and continue an ounce of your passion, kindness and strength then the world will continue to be a better place. Even in 20-fucking-20.
We have lived together, shared jobs together, been on many nights out, sampled spa weekends, laughed cried reasoned and even fallen out. The silliest falling out was in 2011 for a reason that doesn’t warrant logging. But it was my fault and I regret losing that precious time with you.
In more recent years we have picked up more sensible habits such as dog walking, sharing tea and cake and breadsticks, or a baked potato in Oxleas woods. All the time chatting until the cows come home. You were so passionate about.l the things you believe in; NHS before it became mainstream to support them. You were a huge advocate for them because you had to be.
For most of your life you have known that at some point you would need a liver transplant. It was just a given with your conditions. And you expressed your concern but with good humour and with such fucking bravery.
You tackled the transplant and all the complications and limitations that it brought, and you were given more precious years to live. With a 60 year old man's liver in you (and laugh that fell out of you at the drop of a hat) you carried on loving and living with more gusto to promote organ registers and giving blood.
You got married a few years ago and I have never seen you so happy and so comfortable in your own skin. Your dress which you found at the last minute was perfect and your beaming smile lit up the room as you danced with Mr Chandler to F*R*I*E*N*D*S and handed out cake.
Lockdown was an absolute pain for you. With a reduced immune system, diabetes and blah de blah de blah going on, you couldn’t go out. You had to be so careful. But Laurel and I were able to see you to bring you M&S sugar free sweets and the biscuits you so craved and we’re allowed to eat. Seeing your smiling face at the window will forever be a memory of lockdown.
You turned 40 during lockdown and once again your husband showed his love and care for you by recreating Vegas (where you should have been celebrating) in your home and live streamed his DJ set so that your friends and family could join in , dance and watch you enjoying Vegas in south east London.
That was the last day that I saw you alive face to face in real life because Simon had arranged for a rota of friends to stop by and socially distance in you garden one by one as you sat in the porch with a glass of bubbly. You looked beautiful in your dress as you told Laurel and I that Rodney isn’t a real dog.
We last face timed when you called to tell me that you had found complications and you needed to go into hospital. As I stumbled for words other than “I love you” you responded “It wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t calling to tell you that some other bits were falling out of me hey” Again you took it upon yourself to make others smile... and thankfully neither of us knew that would be the last time we actually looked at each other face to face.
Before I close off, I want you to know of all the things that will remind me of you:
Watermelons, Matchbox20, crab sticks, Friends, sushi, elephants, dogs, songs by Keane (yes I realise that’s a sound), Jay Leno, LA, Brighton, seaweed, rocket leaves, woolly hats, Oxleas woods, Wagamama, karaoke, the little mermaid, Disney in general, M&S sweets, those biscuits, the NHS, giving blood, organ donor, Bambi, and so so much more.
Thank you for the memories, my beautiful Treacle-Tart, Ellie-Copter / Smellie Ellie. I love you infinitely and beyond. Say hi to Kobe from me, and try not to flash him up there xxxxx
