Louisa
Darling Ellie,
The reason I’m writing this letter to you, and we’re not communicating through a series of phone calls, Face Times, text messages, WhatsApp, iMessage, and hilarious (!) memes, is because you have now gone. This terrible fact is only just starting to sink in, and I can’t deny I am totally devastated.
In a bid to ease the pain of losing you, one of the best friends I will ever have, I have decided to channel my ‘Inner Ellie’ and think about what you would say to me right now. You would be so comforting and would be desperately trying to stop me feeling so sad. There would be lots of hugs, tissue passing, a bit of hand holding, endless cups of café latte and maybe an experimental bake of some kind! I can hear your voice saying:
“Loosia, think about the good stuff, remember all the fun, the laughs…we had a ‘wight old larf’, the 2am singing sessions with a whisk, the impromptu amateur counselling sessions we gave each other over the years, and most importantly, the mutual love we have for each other”.
Ellie, you are one of the most incredible people I have ever met! Our eyes locked one Spring morning in Greenwich Park, you all long tanned legs in shorts (which I’ve always been extremely jealous of!) me in a manky old Parka. You were being dragged one way by your puppy, me another by mine. I made a weak sympathetic knowing smile in your direction, made a meek comment about your lovely bundle of fur…to which you replied “No, she’s not! She’s a f*cking little bitch!!”. Yep, I knew I’d found a soul mate!! (Obviously, your opinion of Dizzy, and mine of Hugo, didn’t stay like that for long, and she became one of your greatest loves).
I have hugely admired that you gave it to people straight, always. You had such confidence and conviction in your argument and didn’t mind if people ‘chose’ to by offended by your perfectly considered point of view. Respect!! Your ability to totally stand up for what you believed in and your loyalty to stand with friends when they needed support was incredible. You always championed the underdog. Thank you!
Over the last decade we had each other, and each other’s backs. We looked out for each other. We managed to survive quite a lot of drama together, you always loved a bit of drama, from the big stuff - my mental breakdown, your liver transplant, certain relationship issues, to the smaller stuff that are happy memories now – you saving me from a mad Dutch man when I stepped out in front of his bike in Amsterdam (a little worse for wear) or whizzing up to your hotel the night before the wedding to beat the impending snow storm, singing Stevie Wonder at the cab driver.
So, I have positively decided that I will fill the Ellie shaped void in my life with the love and wonderful memories I have of you. You will always be Thelma to my Louise, Barbara Dickson to my Elaine Paige (you were so much better than me during our 2AM renditions of ‘I know him so well’…but I had the bigger whisk!). I will smile when I think of all the fun we had together and will always give you a little nod when I see someone in a outfit you would love, especially if it contains a bit of leopard!
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my friend and confidante. I have been so privileged to have had you in my life for the last decade and to be a part of yours.
I love you,
Louisa xx
